The woman's inter-gender feud

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The woman's inter-gender feud


I was watching an episode of the funny TV show "Veep" recently. I can recommend it by the way, if you don't mind swearing and brash humor. To me, it was refreshing in its honesty. But the thing that made me think for a bit was something Amy said - women hate women. At first I was like, nah, bullshit.

But then I was like, she might be onto something. Sure, in society in general many women band together to fight for their rights, many others fight over men, they're best friends and most spiteful enemies. But I had a chance to observe the female relations in a different environment - online games. And over the years, I've noticed that there's more than a grain of truth to that statement :D

I remember playing World of Warcraft for the first time years ago. My friends and I joined a mostly Romanian guild where there was one girl before I came. We became actually good friends later, but that turned out to be more of an exception than a rule of how those relationships go. Some time after we talked, all honest, and asked one another what were our first impressions when we found out we were girls, and now sharing the guild (also known as the man harem that should not be shared with another b*ch :D ).

She, I recall, told me she was mad. This was HER turf, HER harem, and she wanted me to go away :D Of course, she wouldn't show it or say it, we're civilized.

Me? I remember still when she came to show me a way to Lady Vashj (or something in that water raid) and I thought "Of course, the b*ch plays a rogue with a ponytail. How fucking else. I wish she wasn't here."

Cue best WoW-borne friendship I've ever had :D

But the point stands - before we got to know each other, there was definite hostility. It's not even logical, but it's there. And gods, girls like us, competitive sort, we can get beaten in games by guys without drama (surely better to win), but beaten by a girl? Forget food, forget life, this has got to be fixed! Also applies to guys that annoy us though. I think that's the same for guys too.

Now, fast forward some months or years, I'm not playing WoW anymore, but my friend still does. And there come the horror stories of girls that came to the guild after me. Now, she wasn't even that mad anymore at first, because we did make it work wonderfully, but then all hell broke loose. With those new girls came actual fights for dominance in the guild, getting ranks, getting guild members to like them better, sucking up to the guild master, discrediting other girls.

It all seems to actually get down to the fight for men, and I guess, nature-wise, it makes sense. But when I think about it it's rather sad. It's been so long since I've had a serious real life conflict with another girl that would be caused at all by such feelings or behaviors, but that could be because I'm not the most social of butterflies.

A strange thing I've noticed about myself when it comes to that (and some of my friends) is that this hostility appears mostly in the male-dominated places. Computer games being one of those. There was no gender-feud to be seen in university or in schools. I don't see any on forums where everyone is automatically perceived to be on equal footing, male or female alike.

As I grew up I became much less confrontational. And I care about much different things now, and I honestly don't care anymore if a girl is better than me in a game, because my priorities switched pretty hard (might still get a bit salty if it was in League of Legends though, unsure about that :D). I'd be happy to meet girls sharing my interests, because most of my gamer friends are guys. If not all.

But there is still something about games that's just silly. Roles. A guy can play any role and there's absolutely nobody trying to label him. Girls? Different story.

I say these with a wink, but in many years I've spent in these communities, I can tell there's quite some truth to them :P

Girl plays a support in League/some priest healer in WoW - She's the Proper Girl. That's how girls are. All of them. No exception.

Girl plays a midlane/some mage or similar - Attention whore. Trying to impress the guys, be the cool one.

Girl plays a warlock, shadow priest or something darklish - Like above, but worse.

Girl plays toplane/picks a male orc warrior or similar - Total poser, trying to get attention by being a tomboy, proving she's SO NOT A PROPER GIRL.


Make love, not war(craft). Personally, I love meeting girls in women-oriented places. The atmosphere is so different, and nowadays the lack of conflict and abundance of support is so much more enticing to me.

I'm tired of competing, I don't feel like caring to win. And you know what? It feels great.

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